When you dream of your wedding day you think of a perfectly romantic, enchanted gathering of you, your soon to be spouse and your guests as witnesses. The birds are chirping early upon the morning dew. You awake rested and refreshed anxious to see the first glimpse of your loved one. Everything has been planned to the "T" and the day that you have been planning so vigorously is finally happening. Suddenly your heart starts to pound and you remember you need to write your vows. You think about all the family, friends and your loved one. What should you say? How should you say it?
Following these 3 easy steps will help you to say what you want to say and not be so anxious that your heart is beating out of you chest, or your face looks like a maraschino cherry.
Step #1: Plan It
Sure you have been stressing over choices of flowers, the wedding dress, invitations and everything in between; but the most important part of a wedding is the marriage of two people that are coming together to make a commitment to one another. Indeed, just as you have been preparing for months for the esthetics of the day to be perfect, you should invest some time planning the words that you will have as your vows. Nothing is more romantic than a heartfelt, sincere prose to your loved one telling them how wonderful they are and how you are choosing them to spend your time with. You should find a good middle ground of preparing what you would like to say, but not writing it out. You shouldn't have to read your feelings from a note card. Try to remember the general outline of what you would like to say. Once you have a general idea try practicing with a friend or in front of a mirror. You might feel kind of awkward or uncomfortable spilling your heart to your best friend or to yourself in the mirror, but it will boost your confidence when you hear yourself speak. Get familiar with what it is that you want to convey. Another good idea is to think of the setting of the wedding. Is it a large cathedral church or a quaint outdoor wedding? Will there be a microphone? Try to practice being loud enough and articulate so that others can hear, but not where you seem unnatural or are yelling into your spouse's face.
Step#2: Start With Your First Impression/ Memory
If you are unsure where to start with your vows I recommend remembering your first impression or memory of your loved one. Of course you want it to be a positive one. If you met your fiancé and they were a total jerk you may not want to mention it. This may not be the best start to a marriage. However, you could recall the first kiss, or romantic date; remember those butterflies and how it felt. Tell your loved one your perspective of the way the love began for you. Often times even with those we are closest to, we forget to spill our hearts. Now is the perfect time to wear your heart on your sleeve.
Step #3: Present to Future
After reminiscing about the puppy love, talk about what kept the spark going. Include little quirks about one another, cute personality traits and how the love grew and matured into something lasting. It is okay to talk about physical traits, but really try to focus on personality and spiritual qualities. Go on to talk about what you see for the future together and how you foresee it all taking place.
Sure it is all intimate conversation with an audience large or small, but remember that you invited them to witness of your love, so don't skimp out on the details. Try to keep your 'testimony of love' to no more than five minutes. It's great to make it intimate, but you don't need to share every detail and put your guests to sleep. If you have more to say wait until your honeymoon night.
By following these three easy steps you will create wedding vows that are all your own and that you and your spouse will never forget. On your 20th anniversary you and perhaps even your guests will be able to recall the vows, the commitments that were made on your special day.
Copyright (c) 2010 Stephanie Lopez
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